The Only Reason To Go See The Reboot of Candyman Is For The Milk Duds
This film is so bad it may redefine “waste of time”.
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CANDYMAN 2021 REVIEW
KingDude Rating: 4 Marxes + 1 Betty Friedan, 1 Michelle Lavon Robinson Hussein Obama
Candyman makes irrefutable Church’s Maxim # 36: chicks shouldn’t try and direct horror films because they are hard wired & physically built to play victims in them. When they attempt to direct they make everyone dumb enough to give their flick a shot, the victim and if you watch Candyman 2021, a forewarned victim of a woke neutron bomb, helmed by Nia Dacosta, ye shall become.
This film is so bad it may redefine “waste of time”. Candyman 2021 is so bad it will make you yearn for the “Blaxploitation” films of the 1970’s like “Blacula” (the If you’re old enough to remember them) but then again, the original Candyman was a cynical effort to harness Clive Barker & Wes Craven’s success for black audiences.
That first film was carried by & deft writing from Clive Barker and a creepy turn from it’s star Tony Todd, who makes a cameo in this relaunch which fails like Apollo 1.
The premise is an oxymoron in itself: white “supremacists” created “the hood” to enslave blacks then killed the hood so it could relaunch its new enslavement scheme in the new hood. So why would the new Candyman then prey upon black people and why would the Candyman disemploy and disfigure the black protest artist that is the alleged star Yahya Abdul-Mateen II?
Candyman even employs the cliche that is “Igor”, the evil monster’s John The Baptist, sent to prepare the way for the new Blaxploitation anti-hero, Candyman. In another cliche of our era, the lead character’s girlfriend’s “kid brother” is in a farcical relationship with a homosexual from the Hispanic “hood”. Anyone that knows anything about the relationship between real life hispanics (and asians) and blacks knows this is pure virtue signaling and adds nothing to the film. The attempt to paint the female lead as some sort of feminist, no men needed, art gallery genius turned damsel then turned victim, surely borrowed from a Jamie Lee Curtis “Halloween” turn, is so bad only an experienced plagiarist like Regime Leader Biden could appreciate it.
If there is a market for slasher porn/snuff films that generates thrills when white & asian teenage girls are disemboweled in their gender neutral bathrooms, then Candyman 2021 is it.
By the time the original Candyman gets his cameo paycheck, the ending credits or in this films case, indictments (and heads), are about to roll, the only worthwhile act of Candyman 2021.
This film is just an awful, erm, attempt to harness the demonic “pride” and TrannyMammy™ era we are cursed to be living through. Skip it and take the $$ you save on tickets or rentals and popcorn to buy some Reeses cups, your intellect and taste buds will thank you.